This week’s topic is conflict and how to handle it inside a D/s dynamic.
On the surface, this seems simple, but conflict never is. It is a tangled mess of emotional barbed wire surrounding a field of relationship land mines.
So how do you get through it? How do you navigate this subject with your relationships and heart unscarred and intact?
Stand Up For Yourself
There is a common misconception among those newer to this lifestyle that submissives shouldn’t stand up for themselves. That it somehow makes them less submissive if they do or worse not submissive at all. I thought so when I first began in the lifestyle. The Dominants that I knew at the time, many of whom had more experience than myself, agreed with this line of thought that submissives shouldn’t stand up for themselves with their dominants. Please, let me dispel this notion.
If this post can save even one person from the things that I have seen, then it is worth the vulnerability that putting this information out into the ether causes me. There is, however, a way to go about it.
If you, like us, are a polyamorous Dom or sub with multiple partners in a D/s dynamic, this is even more important. If you have been following this blog from its inception there are a few perfect examples from our own Drake Addams on what happens when you don’t take the time to do this self-introspection.
If you feel like you need help with this or far more information than one blog article can possibly give, I highly recommend the book Couple Skills by Matthew McKay. This has been an invaluable resource for our polycule. It covers more than simply communication, but all of the information it contains can help to bring you closer to those you love and lessen the pain of conflict.
Often this causes the end of a relationship. One partner gets lost in hurt feelings and a sense of seclusion and disrespect, while the other is left reeling from everything being thrown at him or her. It can be nearly impossible to sort through everything and find the light at the end of the tunnel.
What do you do when conflict occurs? Do you stand up for yourself? Do you walk away? Leave a comment below and let us know what you think.