This week’s prompt is about sub frenzy, but here is the thing folks. I can’t explain frenzy any better than Kayla Lords, Mistress Steel, or Morgan Thorne. So, I am not going to try. That information is out there and covered by some pretty darned amazing women! What I am going to do is talk to you about polyamory and sub frenzy.
This life I lead can have some interesting effects on things that might look different from the view in the monogamy lane.
Can A Poly Person Even Experience Frenzy?
Absolutely we poly folks can and do experience frenzy! It is common for me to get asked how this is possible, so let me break it down for you. Poly people are not immune to anything from the monogamous life. We still experience things like jealousy, burn-out, insecurity, and – yes – frenzy.
Just like monogamous people, there is a myriad of things that can trigger frenzy.
There is the all-inclusive nirvana of new relationships, including moments where you are flying high on the amazing feeling of being with someone new and in that euphoric feeling, get a little deep in your submissive or Dominant space and forget to actually practice self-care. This one may actually be more prominent among poly kinksters. Maybe that new partner enjoys a kink that your current partner(s) don’t. Wanting to experience that kink after a long period of time without can trigger a frenzy in which we push ourselves too fast and too far.
Aside from new relationship energy, some of us just enjoy learning. In our eagerness to learn something new from someone with more experience than ourselves, we can easily drop into a frenzy and completely forget that there is a world around us, and we can’t do the new thing all the time.
We can frenzy in existing relationships, too. Trying something new and exciting isn’t just for new partners. I have found that I will often frenzy when a partner and I try something that is new for me, and I enjoy it greatly. It seems to become all I can think about, and that’s not always a good thing!
Some Hazards of Frenzy When Poly
Being poly when you frenzy can have some pitfalls, the biggest of which is getting so wrapped up in your frenzy that you are not only neglecting yourself but your partner(s). I didn’t think I would ever do something like this, but earlier this year I learned differently. I got so wrapped up in a new relationship that I made Drake feel as though he was unwanted and invaluable to me as a Dominant. That was certainly not my intention.
Often when we frenzy, we are not giving our best to even one partner. If I frenzy, being poly, I am not giving my best to anyone, and that can cause some serious issues in a poly set up if there is not some very real communication going on between partners and metamours. It can give the impression that I am no longer interested in my service to one or more partners; it can seem as if I don’t want to be with them any longer. Playing with the shiny new partner so single-mindedly in an effort to somehow prove my submissive ability to that partner or myself can actually break the veteran partner.
There is also the possibility of a partner getting into a frenzy and upsetting the whole tribe. Then there are drama and tears to go around. It’s not always pretty. We do our best to avoid these situations, but it can happen. And being stuck in between two – or more – people can be an absolute nightmare. Being in the middle of more than one unhappy or angry Dom can be traumatic.
Benefits of Poly with Frenzy
There are, however, some great benefits to being poly when it comes to the subject of frenzy.
In our polycule, we promote communication as if it were water to people dying of thirst. This enables us to better look out for one another. Each of my partners is keeping an eye on me, ensuring my health and safety. So if I do get into a frenzy, one of them – if not more than one – will sit me down and let me know that they see me doing this thing that isn’t good for me.
This also makes it less likely that I will engage in activities with unsavory people because of sub frenzy. I am usually pretty protective of myself and extremely cautious about who I submit to, but desperation and longing can make us take some less-than-wise actions. Being poly means I have someone who can pull me back from that edge and stop me from making a scary mistake.
My partners aren’t just watching what I do, though. They are also keeping a watch on how other partners are behaving in regards to me. This means that they see when another partner has jumped into a frenzy and is laying too much on me, leaving me less than happy and probably not very healthy either. In this case, they will pull me aside and let me know that things are not going as well as I or the other person may think, and I need to have a talk with the frenzying partner.
At the End of the Day…
Anyone can frenzy. It doesn’t matter if you are submissive, Dominant, polyamorous or monogamous. It’s not a bad thing in and of itself, but it can make us do some supremely stupid things in our desperation. Polyamory doesn’t negate these risks, but it can be a wonderful safety net against some of them.
As always, remember: This is your life; live it your way!