Hello and welcome to “More Than Two’s Day” Drake edition (yes, I am still very much alive and moving around). I wanted to answer today’s set of questions because I feel like they fit me and my situation a little better than they fit Illiana’s.
The first question is: “If I am already in a relationship” — which is a yes (shocker, I know) — “does my desire for others come from my dissatisfaction or unhappiness with my current relationship?” The second one is: “If I were in a relationship that met all my needs, would I still want multiple partners?”
Before I start to answer the first question, I want to say that I don’t like the way it is phrased. I am neither dissatisfied nor unhappy with my current relationship. Illiana makes me a very happy and satisfied Dragon. So let’s change the question around a bit.
Does my desire for other relationships come from the fact that all of my needs are not being met with my current partner?
So, with the question adapted a bit to fit my situation better, let’s give it a simple, yet long answer. The simple answer is yes, all of my needs not being met is the main driving force for wanting another partner.
For those of you who don’t know, I am a switch. This means that I enjoy both Dominating someone (in this case, Illiana) and submitting to someone else. For the moment (this might or might not change), I tend to lean more towards my submissive side than the Dominant side. I know and understand my submissive side so much better. I waxed philosophical about how I don’t really know much about my dominant side in a previous post, if you would like to read it.
Illiana is a wonderful woman. She is loving, attentive, supportive, and all that other mushy stuff. However, she doesn’t have a Dominant bone in her body. We even tested the possibility that she just hadn’t discovered her Dominance and had a trial run, with her holding the key to my chastity device for about a week or so a few years back. Neither of us found it pleasant nor satisfying. She felt really uncomfortable having that amount of power over me, and I could see that, if not in my conscious mind then with my subconscious one, and the whole thing quickly lost its charm for me.
Through multiple discussions we have had since, the only solution we have come up with for this particular conundrum is for me to have a Mistress to satisfy my submissive side.
With the first question out of the way, let’s look at the second one.
If I were in a relationship that met my needs, would I still want multiple partners?
This one is a bit harder for me to answer, honestly. The first thing to pop into my head with this question is another: Are we making the assumption that it is just one relationship with one other person? One person who also happens to be a switch? If that is the case — one person, one relationship — then I think the answer would be yes, I would still want multiple partners. That just seems to be the way I am wired. Once I learned what poly was (and how it was suppose to truly work), I can’t ever see myself going back to monogamy.
If we go with the opposite of that assumption, I would have Illiana as my little treasure to pamper and spoil, as well as tease and torture how I want. I would also have someone else as my Mistress to keep me locked up and desperate with desire. Both of whom would love me as much as I love them and help me to grow into a better Dominant, a better submissive, and just a better person as a whole. Would I still want more partners then? With that assumption, I would have to say no, not really.
I would have two women that, ideally, I would love very dearly and interact with in very different ways. If life has taught me anything, its that we all have our limits, and I think maintaining two relationships is mine. Even then, it might have me pulling out what little hair I have left trying to balance everything.
Is that to say that I won’t be open to a third or even fourth relationship down the road? No, it doesn’t. Much like Illiana has said in other “More than Two’s Day” posts, I am not going to stop something that develops between me and someone else. Should such an opportunity arise, I would like to have the ability to explore the budding relationships and see if I could make room for them in my life.
At the End of the Day…
I don’t want another partner because I am dissatisfied or unhappy with what I have already with Illiana. Quite the opposite, really. I see how awesome and wonderful a healthy D/s relationship can be because of her and would like my submissive side to experience the same thing. Since Illiana can’t be the Dominant partner I really need, I have to venture elsewhere to fill that need.
Once both sides of myself have their needs met, I won’t be actively looking to add more relationships to my life. I tend to be a simple guy in most things. Two women is more than enough. But if someone happens to wander their way in and things work for all involved…well, who can say no to that kind of thing?
As always, remember: This is your life; live it your way!