Welcome back to another More Than Two’s Day! Today, we are going to look at what configurations I am open to and the ones that might leave me feeling a bit uncomfortable.
A configuration in the poly world is the way in which partners connect. There is everything from a “Vee,” which is one person who has two other partners that are not involved with one another, to entire poly networks. Different people have different needs and comfort levels, which can create interesting mixes.
What Configurations Am I Open To?
Anyone who has met me can tell you that I am a curious sort and am open to pretty much any connection. Putting constraints on something before it has even begun seems, to me, to be a good way to ensure that it doesn’t. But let’s look at this from the point of view of where could it go.
Right now I am in a Vee. We like to think of ourselves as a family. Danny and Drake are not sexually or romantically involved, but they are friends and do care about one another in a brotherly fashion. Because neither of them is involved with anyone else at the moment, the possibilities are endless as to what could happen.
Draggy could find himself a Mistress, and I hope he does, which would put us in an N configuration with both Draggy and I having more than one partner. I could form an asterisk and wind up with yet another Dom in my life. Boy, that sounds like a lot more work than it is. But with Danny being newer and Drake being new to his Dom side and needing his submissive side fed as well, we have all three discussed the possibility of another Dom in my life. Danny could find someone that he just jives with. One of their potential partners could just be that girl that flips my bi switch and makes my toes curl.
Thinking that is all the possible configurations? Not even close! There is also the possibility of friends with benefits and casual partnerships, such as a Dom whom I play with at public events. The possibilities are endless. It all depends on what the people involved want, need, and can make time for.
What Configurations Do I Struggle With?
I don’t struggle so much with configurations as far as other people. I struggle with BDSM configurations. I am a confident woman. I know who I am and what I am capable of, but I have some great big demons in my closet. The biggest of which is my Dom wanting another submissive.
I know, I know. That makes no sense for a woman who has two Doms. I didn’t say that it couldn’t happen, or that I would stop it from happening.
My past is colored with several Dominant men who would compare me to other, more experienced or younger and prettier, submissives and ridicule me for the lack they perceived in me. So other subs in my Doms’ lives can make me a little neurotic. I have enjoyed a situation online that made this easier in the recent past, though. So, it might not be as intense these days.
The little in me would, however, have a complete meltdown if Draggy or daddy wanted another little. It’s not ideal, but it is the truth. I fear being replaced. Not as a woman, but as a submissive and little.
I would definitely need my partners to help me work through these issues should that instance arise.
What I Am Not Open To
When talking about configurations I feel like there is an addendum that needs to be here. What I, or any of my partners, is open to is largely depending on the people we connect with. None of us is going to be too jazzed about someone abusive coming into our family.
In that vein, I also get very mama bear like when someone, including my own potential partner, decides to play power games and tries to create drama. This includes jealousy baiting. No matter what the configuration, that is just uncalled for and unhealthy. I won’t compete for my partners’ time, and I won’t be too happy about someone trying to make my partners compete for mine.
I also won’t be cool with someone who is careless with their health and safety, thus making them careless with the health and safety of myself and my family. A person can be sleeping with half the county for all I care, as long as they are being mindful of their impact on whatever partners we share.
Now, these things don’t mean that I will instantly insist on my partner breaking up with that person or if they are my partner that I will break up with them. It means that some serious talking will be done. In the end, I might have to make a choice to either deal with it, which is highly unlikely, or remove myself and therefor my remaining partners from that connection. It sucks, but it is the reality for me. I won’t knowingly allow harm to myself or those I care for.
At the End of the Day…
I am open to the possibility of whatever comes along. Not to sound like a hippy or something but, it really is all about the love, man. That doesn’t mean I am going to be cool with just anything. Being good with and for me means being good to and with my poly family.
As always, remember: This is your life; live it your way, folks!