Hello and welcome back. I guess you can think of this as a Part 2 to our Day 19 of 30 Days of D/s. As we mentioned in that post, I wanted to talk about chastity more. I was going to add just a bit to the original post, but as I thought about what I could say on the subject, it quickly took a life on its own, and I decided to make my own post focused on chastity.
Allow me to throw out some of my experience before I begin. I have been interested in chastity since I found out it was a thing before the Medieval period. That would have been back in 2010 or so, I want to say. It wasn’t until six years later that I finally bought my first chastity device to wear. It quickly bloomed into a major thing for my submission. Since i am a grower and not a shower, my own research lead me to a CB-6000s for my first device. It worked well for the first few months I played with it, but after so long the cage split along the seams, a common fault with the device. I then moved onto the Holy Trainer V2 and that served me well for many years. I wanted to up the ante, so to speak, so I found some cheap metal ones from Amazon. And let me tell you, you get what you pay for in the realm of chastity.
At this point, I knew I wanted something smaller, and I would love something metal, but the only option open to me with both of those goals was to get a custom-made device. Let me tell you, if you are looking at that route, get ready to drop some serious money. Most of the ones I looked at cost at least $1,000. But in my window shopping, I found that Holy Trainer came out with a third version of its device, and a new tube size (the part of the cage that the penis goes into) called “The Nub” with a length of 0.98 inches. It was still a bit expensive, almost $200, and I spent several weeks waffling about whether I should get it. Eventually I did, and I am so happy. In fact, I started a new session (the time where I am in the actual chastity) a few days before I knew what the topic for this week’s 30 Days of D/s post was. So, yes, I am actually locked in chastity while I write this post and will be locked up for a few weeks afterwards.
I have been mostly a solo locker. I don’t currently have a Keyholder, someone to keep the keys during the chastity session. I have had a few Keyholders that i played with for a few weeks, but it’s mostly just me, myself, and I.
A lot of posts on this topic tell you how to measure yourself for one, what you should buy, and things of that sort. But that information can be found pretty easily online with a quick Google search. Instead, I want to take a look at how chastity affects myself, and from what I can gather, most other guys as well. Since I am a guy, there is no way I can talk with any authority about female chastity. In fact, I haven’t really found much on female chastity out there. I know it exists, I have seen belts for sale, but male chastity vastly outweighs it in this day and age.
So let’s break this into two parts: the physical effects and the mental effects.
The first and most obvious effect of male chastity (hereafter referred to just chastity) is the fact that, in a proper fitting device, you will no longer have “real” erections. I put real in quotes because you will still have erections, but not in the normal sense. By the design of the cage, any erection will be hampered in some way, usually with pain. Unless you have a piercing, you will most likely have what is called a “ball trap” device. This means that there is a base ring that slips behind the balls and attaches to the cage. So when you try to get hard, that ring is pulled forward and traps the balls, causing some pain.
If you, like me, are a grower and not a shower, then there is just not enough room to grow into a full erection, thus stopping it at some point. If you have a cage that fits very close to your flaccid size, such as with my Holy Trainer V3 Nub, then there is no room at all for growth.
This is where I caution newbies in the realm of chastity. I know a month-long chastity sessions sounds just awesome to start with, but don’t do that. Go slow with it. Because in the heat of the moment, there is something you will forget about. Morning wood. If you wear chastity overnight, you will run into that problem. You might not know this, but every guy gets nocturnal erections while they sleep and they are so much stronger than something you might get while being aroused normally. From personal experience, one of those while in chastity, it WILL wake you up in major pain. Even now, after years of playing with chastity and doing weeks and months long lock up sessions, the first few nights are on the rough side. A tip to help with this, get up and go pee, it does help. And after a few nights, maybe a week, the body will get the idea of “hey, I really cant do that anymore” and calm down some.
Talking about going to pee, let us move to the second physical thing about chastity. While you are wearing the cage, you might be able to touch just a tiny bit of your cock, if you can touch anything at all. Why do I bring this up with going Number 1? Well, while you are locked inside of a cage, you really can’t “aim” while using the bathroom. So, unless you want to cover everything in urine, you might want to sit down for it. I found that out the hard way one late night while trying to deal with a night time hard on. While you might be into golden showers, I doubt it will be while you are half asleep, in pain, at 3 in the morning.
Besides the bathroom issue (something I will talk about more in the mental effects), the no touching thing is kind of a major one. Think about it: where do guys derive like 99% of their sexual pleasure? Yup, the one eyed trouser snake. And if you can only touch, at most, little parts of it, there isn’t going to be much fun to draw from there. So what to do? Explore the rest of your body and engage the biggest sex organ of any human, the brain. During a long session of chastity, I find myself playing with other erogenous zones that are often ignored by a guy while he is alone, with the internet and nothing else to do. I play with my nipples more, and yes have even ventured into anal play some.
A Blending of Physical and Mental
This next thing fits into both the physical and mental, so it serves as a crossover. If you have learned anything from a science class, it should be this: everything has mass. And this includes any type of cage you can find. Plastic is on the lighter end and metal is on the heavier end, but they all have some kind of weight to them. Even if you are going about your normal day, at work, the ride home, or just relaxing binging the newest season of Stranger Things, you will feel the cage wrapped around your most intimate of parts and feel a bit of extra weight there. Even during a two-month-long session before, I noticed that weight just as much on day 59 as i did on day 1.
What this weight transfers to my mind, and it may be different for everyone, is “I cant get hard.” Or when I have a Keyholder, “I am not in control of when I can get hard.”
If you haven’t tried chastity before, give that a thought for a second. What if your ability to get hard, something that is, at its core, a basic component of being a man, was no longer under your control? What if your ability to get and enjoy an erection was something you either have to beg for, earn, or just do without for some time?
Done giving it a think? Kind of a mind fuck. yeah? That’s what the chastity makes me think of every time I become aware of it.
The Mental Effects
This is where things get messy for me. There are so many things, that go through my mind while in chastity. I could probably think of an infinite number of things to put here because I pretty much live inside my own head all the time, but I will try to limit myself.
Consider the fact that you are denied something that is at the core of being a man – an erection. But it goes a bit farther than that, honestly. Consider the bathroom again for a minute. You can no longer stand up to take a piss. Something else almost every other guy can do and something many women wish they could. Hell, I even found products geared with camping in mind that allow women to stand up and water the closest tree. That’s another thing taken away that is, at its core, a guy thing to do. Becomes a bit more feminizing, doesn’t it? Which really hits my humiliation kink in the right way. Adding in a Keyholder who wants to keep that in your mind starts to really play hell in there in an awesome way.
Leaving the bathroom, let us move into the public realm. You have something wrapped and weighing down Richard and the twins. Surely everyone else will notice! In truth, no they wont. Most people won’t be looking at your crotch for any real length of time to notice a cage down there. But, unless you are a mind reader, you really can’t be sure. This is were a Keyholder can also have some fun. The key to the cage on a necklace makes things a bit more obvious if both of you are in public, but really only to someone else also into chastity. And what if someone asks about that key hanging around her neck, just above her cleavage? So many answers, from the flat out truth, to the obscure “something important” to the obscure, but slightly humiliating, “something that really isn’t that important.”
The last mental affect, in my own opinion, centers around orgasms. For those in there for more than a day or two, things start to change in our minds. First, and most obvious, is the frustration and need (or as some Keyholder would say, “just a want”) to cum. The first two weeks of pure chastity, so no teasing or anything like that, quickly become nothing but thoughts of sex. After that (for me anyway) it starts to become a background thing. Something that is in the back of my mind and, if I let it, will come flooding to the front. If you have a Keyholder, they can tease the hell out of you in many different ways but never let you cum and thus keep the tensen up.
The second part of this is there if you are a solo locker like myself, but it shows more if you have a Dom or Domme. Your submission to them begins to grow. If your chastity session isn’t tied to time, but to the whims of your Keyholder, then you begin to offer more and more for the ability to cum.
For example, a common one in stories (and one I can see myself doing as well) is not particularly enjoying having your Domme using a strap-on on you. After a week, a month, in chastity, that strap-on is looking more and more like a good offer to get an orgasm or time out of the cage.
Another common thing in relation to your submission is that you focus more on their pleasure since you can’t focus on yours. I often, in fantasies, find myself getting my Mistress off and deriving pleasure from that instead of my own orgasm. If/when this fantasy becomes a reality, I might even get more pleasure from getting them off than myself.
At the End of the Day…
Chastity is at its core about orgasm control, but it can entail so, so much more, from the physical to the mental. Both the one in the cage and the one holding the keys can derive pleasure from this kind of play. And not to mention the solo players can have fun adding a chastity device to their toy box.
As always, remember: This is your life; live it your way!
I would love to hear about your thoughts and questions about chastity (both male and female) in the comments, or you can shoot me an email.