Welcome to another More Than Two’s Day! This week we have a three-parter! Let’s dig into what I want, am open to, expect to get, and am willing to offer in my romantic life.
What Do I Want from My Romantic Life?
I would bet that most people don’t really think about this question very much. It’s remarkably simple on the surface. My simple answer would be that I want to feel loved. We aren’t here for simple answers though, are we?
When we get down to it, I want my romantic life to leave me feeling fulfilled as much as any other person. I want to be appreciated for exactly who I am. I don’t want to feel like I’m always being judged by my partner. I want to look back on loves in my life and find myself smiling at the memories.
I want to feel just as loved, wanted, and desired as I work to make my partners feel. I want to create a safe dynamic for us all to exist in. I want my relationships to all exist as a place where it is safe to fall apart when we need to, or to celebrate life’s moments together.
Am I Open to Multiple Sexual Relationships, Romantic Relationships, or Both?
I find myself chuckling each time I read this question. I must admit that I am the variety of woman who is nearly incapable of having sex with someone I feel no connection to. For me, the separation here is between friends with benefits and full on romantic relationships. I am open to both, but I prefer one over the other.
I can do a friends with benefits situation, and have in the past, if the connection is strong enough. It is difficult for me, though. As I mentioned in my last post, my attention level is apparently very intense, and I develop feelings rather quickly. I don’t expect my partners to feel the same, however. It has been said to me in the past that I am rather skilled at unrequited love. In truth, I am simply skilled in not expecting others to feel as I do.
I much prefer romantic interests. In this relationship dynamic, I can freely express everything i may feel and be reasonably assured that my partner(s) feel somewhat the same in return. I am open to more than one romantic relationship because I really do have that much love to give. I work hard to make sure all my partners feel loved, wanted, and included in my life. I don’t like feeling as though I’m smothering them, however. With multiple partners, I can spread that love and attention between them, and thus everyone is comfortable and satisfied.
If I Want More Than One Lover, What Degree of Closeness and Intimacy Do I Expect, and What Do I Offer?
I expect and offer a pretty high level of closeness across the board here. Intimate friend or romantic interest, if I am sharing my body with someone there has to be a pretty close connection.
I don’t expect a physically intimate friend to cater to my every whim, and I don’t expect to have nearly the priority of a romantic interest. I do, however, expect respect. I give as good as I get, and I will always treat them as I do any other friend. Perhaps better — physical intimacy has a way of breeding emotional connectivity, after all.
From my romantic interests? I guess you could say that I expect it all. Polyamory means many loves, and I expect each romantic relationship to have all the hallmarks of a healthy, committed, romantic involvement. Different people connect and relate to each other in different ways, so I don’t expect each relationship to be exactly the same. What would be the point in that? In return, I offer each of my guys every part of me. I hunger for the intimacy and closeness, and I give it in spades. I hold nothing back.
At the End of the Day…
My expectations are both high and low in my romantic life. I look for genuine connections, and I struggle when they are only on my side just like any other person. Being poly makes me consider these things a little more than the average person, but my expectations are not very different. I still want to be a fairy tale princess whose princes adore her.
As always, remember: This is your life; live it your way!